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    Altimate Yo mama Jokes!

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    SoProBro
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    Altimate Yo mama Jokes!

    Post  SoProBro on 18/9/2011, 10:11 am

    Here it is!-

    Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise
    * Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot.
    * Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
    * Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
    * Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
    * Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
    * Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
    * Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
    * Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
    * Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
    * Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
    * Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
    * Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
    * Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
    * Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
    * Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
    * Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
    * Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
    * Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
    * Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
    * Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
    * Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off.
    * Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
    * Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
    * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
    * Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
    * Your mom is so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
    * Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
    * Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
    * Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
    * Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
    * Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
    * Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
    * Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl.
    * Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
    * Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
    * Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
    * Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
    * Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
    * Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
    * Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
    * Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
    * Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down.
    * Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
    * Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
    * Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
    * Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
    * Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
    * Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
    * Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
    * Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
    * Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
    * Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
    * Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
    * Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
    * Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
    * Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
    * Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
    * Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
    * Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
    * Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
    * Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
    * Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
    * Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
    * Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
    * Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
    * Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3.
    * Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
    * Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
    * Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
    * Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
    * Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
    * Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
    * Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
    * Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
    * Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
    * Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
    * Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
    * Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
    * Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
    * Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
    * Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development.
    * Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!"
    * Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
    * Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
    * Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend.
    * Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
    * Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self.
    * Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins.
    * Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
    * Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale.
    * Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.
    * Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints.
    * Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live.
    * Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she went to a concert, she had to buy 1 million tickets just to fit her ass.
    * Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button.
    * Your mom is so fat, she absorbs light.
    * Your mom is so fat, she has to play pool with the planets.
    * Your mom is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and king sized skittles popped out.
    * Your mom is so fat, your dad didn't know which roll he was making love to.
    * Your mom is so fat, she thought the Olympic swimming pool was a puddle.
    * Your mom is so fat, every move that she makes required planning permission.
    * Your mom is so fat, when she showers, her feet dont get wet
    * Your mom is so fat, she broke a branch on her family tree

    EDIT- Thanks For The Sticky!! <3 I worked very hard on this post!

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    Z
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    Re: Altimate Yo mama Jokes!

    Post  Z on 18/9/2011, 2:40 pm

    Some of them are good, where di you copy and paste these from? Can you PM me the link?

    SoProBro
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    Re: Altimate Yo mama Jokes!

    Post  SoProBro on 18/9/2011, 10:35 pm

    Most of these were copid and pasted from TTG. But i also added alot in!
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    Mike
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    Re: Altimate Yo mama Jokes!

    Post  Mike on 25/9/2011, 4:29 am

    Haha, really funny.


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    SoProBro
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    Re: Altimate Yo mama Jokes!

    Post  SoProBro on 25/9/2011, 9:57 am

    Mike wrote:Haha, really funny.

    Thanks man!!!

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    Re: Altimate Yo mama Jokes!

    Post  FliixRMods on 26/9/2011, 1:17 pm

    Lol they are some great Mum jokes,
    made me laugh

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